Transcript of a radio show ‘Midnight with Jerry & Mike’ originally broadcast 4/02/05. Tape recovered from a radio tower.
Mike: And we have our special guests tonight. Lonnie and Bulbs!
[Pause]
Jerry: Say hello.
Lonnie Who Walks Through Flames: um, hello. Our-
J: Your English is surprisingly good. How long did it take you to learn?
L: Not long, but-
M: This all must seem very strange to you, do you know how radio works?
L: Sounds waves trans-
J: You know about soundwaves! That’s incredible, you are far more advanced than we thought for a bunch of people who live in the woods.
L: Not-
M: So what would you say is the best part about coming to our world?
[Pause]
Bulbs Slumbering Beneath the Snow: Not being dead.
J: Holy shit, you DO speak. Glad to hear from you, Bulby.
B: That-
J: So-
L: That’s not their name.
J: Huh?
L: Their name is Bulbs Slumbering Beneath Snow and mine is Lonnie who Walks Through Fire. Names are descriptive and earned, it is either a sign of great intimacy or disrespect to shorten them.
J: You can’t be serious
M: What if there was an emergency? Or a fire? And we had to call you quickly?
B: Is there an emergency? Or a fire?
L: Is it customary here to shorten all names, even if a person does not wish it?
M: That’s different.
L: Why?
M: Because-
J: Because here it’s just humans. Or it was till you invaded us.
M: What the-
J: You invaded and you caused all this. And you expect us to give a shit about your names? How about you earn that by fixing what you broke!
M: Hey, that’s- Can we-
L: We didn’t choose to come here! You think we wanted that?
J: Obviously!
L: Our world died, we were running. We didn’t decide to come here, we didn’t MAKE your governments drop those bombs. This isn’t our fault!
J: Stop lying and admit the-
M: Alex, cut the-